The Discipline Blog

There are thousands of life coaches with new ones popping up weekly. It’s a thriving industry. Many go into this field looking to make a career for themselves. After all helping people overcome their issues is a challenging, exciting and rewarding career. There is never a dull moment.

Unfortunately, it’s extremely difficult to make enough income to support your own lifestyle. A high percentage of individuals seeking a life coach, are looking because they’re in dire straits when it comes to their finances. A life coach can provide them with real-world solutions to their problems; hence, why they’re coming to you. Your clients are either unemployed or severely in debt. In other words, you would be working pro bono. Probably 50% of the people that will be seeking your advice would fit into this category. Below are my tips on how to start your new career as a life coach but more importantly how you can survive financially:

1. Don’t rely on life coaching as your only source of income.

Either have plenty of savings or some sort of 2nd source of income. People that are financially strapped and use a life coach always have good intentions of paying. But when it actually comes to paying the bill, you’re probably last on their list of debtors to pay – especially when you’re competing with their most important daily priorities (i.e., putting food on the table and paying the rent). Make sure you have additional sources of income so you do not get into the same predicament financially.

2. Ask for payment in advance.

Don’t be shy. After all, you have bills to pay too.

3. Do whatever it takes to hold your clients accountable to their daily obligations.

They will listen closely to your advice and they may hold themselves accountable for a few weeks, but there’s no way they’ll be able to be their own cop for the long haul. Be prepared to hold them accountable 7 days a week if required. Whether it’s via telephone, SKYPE or email – do whatever it takes to ensure success.

4. If you’re not really passionate about helping others then don’t get into this business.

Don’t do it for the money – you will NOT get rich being a life coach – do this because you get a big charge helping others.

5. Build an attractive portfolio.

The more accomplishments you can showcase the more clientele you will have. You need to have credibility to set you apart from thousands of other life coaches. The life coaching field is saturated. You need that niche that will set you apart from the rest of the pack.

6. Design a website that can be easily optimized.

As stated earlier the competition is fierce and most people will search via the Internet for an experienced life coach. Make sure your site is optimized efficiently with the proper keywords.

Life coaching is a rewarding profession but not in a financial way. Helping others succeed feels great. Don’t rely on this business to become rich financially. However, you can probably make enough to pay your bills and live a full life – if you follow the tips above.

Most people exist – probably 95% of adults in America just live life day by day. Yes the percentage is that high – sad to report. They’ll do the bare minimum and somehow they squeak by. They’ll waste time like there’s no expiration date on life. They’ll waste a minimum of 4 hours a day on surfing the Internet aimlessly, watching TV, playing video games, etc. They’ll waste more time on irrelevant conversations throughout the day/evening. And because they’re not structured (do not follow a ‘to-do’ list, a routine and are disorganized) they’re always behind. Then they use the same old lame excuse: there are never enough hours in a day… This is the 95 percentile bunch: The Existers!

The Existers don’t really plan out their life – and if they do it’s done haphazardly. The Existers don’t have a sense of urgency, rarely accomplish their goals and have a difficult time motivating themselves. If that’s not enough time flushed down the toilet – it gets worse on the weekend. The weekend is wide open: it starts by lounging around in bed and it goes downhill from there

A high percentage of those Existers (approximately half) are in severe debt. Now there’s a shocking bit of news….

LIVE Life with Discipline
What does that mean? It means the following (in no particular order):

• Being in complete control of your actions
• Accomplishments – nonstop accomplishments
•Your mind is trained to follow a very efficient routine that encompasses 3 priorities (career, health and relationships)
• Believing and practicing that every minute (not hour) is precious – practicing efficient time management
• Being happy
• Always seeking perfection
• Having a balanced lifestyle
• Being financially secure
• Managing setbacks effectively
• Living life by values

So ask yourself why not LIVE? Is it difficult to acquire discipline? Sure it is! But how badly do you want to LIVE?

How much time are you spending researching for new inspirational quotes to help you get motivated each day? Has it worked – does it keep you motivated ALL day? The answer is no. You’ll feel that adrenalin rush for about 30 minutes or perhaps 1 hour. Then its back to business as usual – being unproductive – never acquiring the self-discipline you so desperately need. How do you keep motivated for the next 15 hours or so of potential productivity time?

You can read a new quote every day/every hour or even repeat an oldie but goodie…but inspirational quotes will NOT make permanent improvements in your life to fix your unproductive ways. Now don’t get the wrong impression of me, I love inspirational quotes too. I’ve even come up with a few of my own occasionally. They’re fun to read but if you’re looking for continuous motivation try and come up with a few phrases that will permanently train your mind to give you a kick in the butt. Phrases that will instill a sense of urgency in your mind, phrases that will make you jump to action. Instead of using positive phrases that have a short-term impact, try coming up with a few hard-core phrases that will cause long-term change. For example:

• I look disgusting!
• I’m fat and fat is ugly!
• I’m a lazy SOB; I’m pathetic. How long do I want to exist like this?

Sure these phrases are negative and we’ve always been taught to think positive – and you should. You should always think positive and that you can turn yourself around – we all can! YES, YOU CAN! However thinking positive and facing the truth are 2 different things.

A co-author in one of my self-discipline books mentioned that I should be more positive – that negative phrases would turn your audience off. I said people need to be honest with themselves – not live in a fantasy world (i.e., fat is NOT beautiful) and certainly NOT healthy. I want people to be honest with themselves. Face the facts – face the writing on the wall. Why sugar-coat the fact that you’re lazy, fat, unproductive, etc.

Once you come up with your own phrases repeat them constantly – every day! Eventually your mind will be trained. Once your mind is trained you won’t need to research for new inspirational quotes. Your mind will keep you motivated automatically and will keep you focused on your priorities, goals and milestones 24×7. It’s like being in boot camp and having your own personal drill sergeant attached to your hip. Good luck trying to be lazy – once your mind is trained your personal drill sergeant (your newly trained mind) will give you that kick in the butt you were looking for with those inspirational quotes.

Obviously repeating positive inspirational quotes haven’t worked. It’s time to be honest with yourself and do something to instill confidence. When you address big issues like being fat, being a big-time procrastinator or being lazy you’re restoring confidence in you. Once you gain confidence, challenge all other weaknesses.

Make managing finances a priority. Throughout my life the #1 priority was and still is money. I always associated finances with career/business. I earn, invest and save continuously. It’s important to have enough money to live comfortably. Having money makes life much more enjoyable and fun when you can go wherever you want or do whatever your heart pleases.

• Travel the world
• Buy that dream home
• Purchase that expensive sports car or just a good reliable car
• Give more money to charity

Effectively managing finances is crucial to living a good life (i.e., debt free, having the resources to do the things you’ve always wanted to do and maintaining a good relationship). More marriages break up due to financial issues than any other reason! Be proactivedon’t let this happen to you.

Many people don’t manage finances effectively and pay the price for it laterno pun intended. Individuals do not establish any sort of budget, which typically means they don’t know how much they actually spendthen they get into credit card debt and don’t even realize that they spend more than they make. Having financial difficulties could derail progress in every facet of your life.

Be smart about finances. Make good financial management practices a priority. Develop a budget, track your expenses, grow your savings account, etc. Below are a few tips on how to save effectively:

Deposit something into your account consistently and frequently:
• Preferably bi-monthly or monthly. If you have the option of depositing automatically through your company payroll deduction system, then do so. If that option is not available and you get paid bi-monthly then deposit funds into your savings account manually. You should also try to deposit extra funds even if it’s only a small amount (i.e., $20.00, $50.00, etc.). The key is to constantly watch your balance grow.
─ Your mind will always want to look for morebut will never be satisfied.
─ Eventually your mind will get bored at looking at the same number and will always force you to deposit more. It’s a major sense of accomplishment to see that number increase frequently. The more frequent the betteryour mind will be trained to anticipate a growing balance.
─ Converse with yourself repeatedly “I NEED TO BEAT THAT NUMBER”. Even if it’s only by a few dollars.

Do not tap into your savings account:
• You can NEVER withdraw money from your savings account.
─ If you withdraw funds one time you will want to do it again and again. Have a ‘hands-off’ policy. Your savings are only for major purchases (i.e., home) or for a major emergency (i.e., loss of employment).

Plan ahead:
• Establish realistic savings goals. I need to have xx dollars in my savings account in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, etc.).

Equate money to your career or business:
• Typically the more you make the more successful you are. Making money is your #1 prioritysay it dozens of times each day! MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, etc. Tell yourself repeatedly that the world evolves around money. It’s sad to say but in this day and ageit’s VERY true.

SAVE BABY SAVE!!!!

People have the most difficult time getting out of bed. Their minds will use all types of tricks to convince them to stay in that bed for just a few more minutes…Your internal saboteur will throw everything at you to derail your progress – trying to keep you in that bed longer. Below are a few tips to help you get out of bed promptly.

Excuse#1: I’m tired I’ll just stay in bed for another 10 minutes…
Tell yourself repeatedly:
• Another 10 minutes add up to XX hours of wasted time for the year.
• If you’re exhausted another 10 minutes of sleep will not help.
• If I lounge around in bed today I will do the same thing tomorrow.

Excuse #2: I need to sleep a few extra hoursI don’t want to feel tired later in the afternoon.
• It’s all about how productive you can be NOW. We all get tired later in the day after putting in a hard day of work. You’re always going to be more energetic and more creative at the beginning of your work day.
─ Take a quick 10-20 minute power nap later in the day. Power naps are very effective. Just a quick snooze and you’ll get a second wind.
─ Do some sort of physical activity. Something light to get the blood flowingI’m not talking a major workout.
o If you work from home then get up from in front of that computer and clean something – perhaps the kitchen (put the dishes away) or organize your office. If you don’t feel like cleaning – take a walk around the block.
o If you work at an office building then get up and take a quick walk around the building – perhaps return some of your voicemails while walking to utilize your time efficiently. This serves several purposes: gets the blood flowing to wake you up and burns a few extra calories.

Excuse #3: Its cold outside – I don’t want to get out of this warm bed to exercise.
• Simplify your morning routine. Go to bed with your clean workout clothes on. It’s much easier then having to get up and change into your workout clothes especially when it’s cold or raining outside.
• Set multiple alarm clocks. Keep one of them far away from the bed so you will have to get up to turn it off.

Excuse #4: I need more sleep – 5 hours wasn’t enough last night. I need at least 8 hours of sleep a night or I will be prone to becoming sick more frequently.
• There is no medical data that suggests not getting ample sleep for 1 or 2 nights will cause you to get sick more often. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends for over 3 decades – I don’t get sick more than the average person (I-2 colds a year).

Unfortunately failure does occur at times no matter how hard you plan and execute. Train your mind on how to pick yourself back up stronger, better and wiser than before.

Train Your Mind
Conditioning your mind to overcome failures starts with instilling structure in your life:

• Treating everyday equally
─ Remain organized (Email, home, office, etc.)
─ Adhere to a to-do list and focus on it
─ Follow a routine
─ Do some form of exercise daily
─ Strategize to seek perfection in your personal and professional life

By treating everyday equally you’re training your mind to hold you accountable to be efficient everyday.

Establish A Contract
After you institute structure into your life establish a contract with yourself. This contract is not a paper document; it is a paradigm shift, a culture adjustment. However, like any contract, it has rules and guidelines that you must adhere to. It is a completely new outlook on life. It stays with you 24 hours a day just like the blood that flows through your veins. It is part of your daily routine.

This contract will alter your personality. Everyone will notice it. They will see the confidence in your face and the focus in your eyes. You will feel like you can accomplish anything and everything, and you will! There will be no limitations.

It is a mental toughness; it is like having a professional trainer pushing you through a one–hour workout 24 hours a day.

My contract was and still is:

• Remain structured at all times
• Focus on my priorities 24x7x365
• Make every minute count
• Be my own cop (hold myself accountable)
• Maintain personal and professional values at all times

Establish Phrases To Combat Those Excuses
Establish phrases (positive or negative) that are impactful and cause change. I like hardcore negative phrases (*** Note: everyone is different***).

Does this sound familiar? “I missed my goal this month – I was sluggish and tired.” Sure it does, most people make excuses. I used the following phrases to stop the excuses:

• I am running out of time. Next month I will be XX years old and I still keep pushing things outthis pattern will continue until the day I die. I need to CHANGE NOW!
• I am tired of missing my goals. Failure is UNACCEPTABLE!
• ALWAYS BEAT MY DUE DATE! I need to build a cushion for emergencies.

Be Repetitive
Repeat those phrases dozens of times each day until your mind is trained! But repeat them like you truly believe in what you’re saying. Don’t waste your time by playing lip service.

Once your mind is trained and you still fail you will be able to pick yourself up and push harder next time. You will also stop making excuses. So many times we give ourselves excuses as to why we fail. We blame others, our childhood, our boss, our wife. We get lazy, or upset at a setback and then stop ourselves. If you fail a goal you and ONLY you are to blame!

Be Intolerant Of Failing The War
It may sound a bit extreme but the more you’ve trained your mind that failure is the worst possible thing that can happen to you, the better your odds will be that failure will never be an option again. When your mind has been trained at the ultimate level there will be no such thing as failure. You will not accept excuses. If by chance you do fall you will pick yourself up quickly and you will do whatever it takes to get back on course quickly.

As a life mentor I’ve learned that one of the main reasons that people do not accomplish their goals is because they set goals and hope for the best. They rarely establish daily milestones.

Perhaps your goal is to lose 50 pounds in 6 months. One of your daily milestones could be to exercise 30 minutes a day. Another milestone could be to have healthy meals 6 days a week. Whatever your daily milestones are; focus on them NOT your goals. My definition of a milestone is: those small steps you take or tasks that you need accomplish daily. If you meet that objective you will accomplish your goal.

When establishing your milestones take small steps.

Don’t establish milestones that are difficult to achieve. If you find yourself dong this, it means that you are not breaking down the product. You are giving yourself too big of a target. Let’s say that you are a job recruiter in your company’s HR department and you need to recruit someone for a very critical position. So there are these steps:

1. Decide what qualities you need and what salary you are willing to pay
2. Post an ad
3. Ask around
4. Review resumes
5. Pick out the more promising ones
6. Come up with questions to ask
7. Call people in to interview
8. Review the candidates that seem the most likely fit
9. Call in for a second interview
10. Decide and inform your candidate

If you had just said recruit someone, you made yourself feel overwhelmed by the task. It is especially important to break down into smaller steps when you are dealing with something you are unfamiliar with or have issues about.

Another example:
• Current problemworking at a job I don’t enjoy and that doesn’t pay well
• Desired result – working at a place I really enjoy and that pays well
• Goal – to find my dream job

The milestones for the above example are:

1. Figure out if it is the company, the sector or the type of work I’m doing
2. Find out what I really want to do
3. Start interviewing my friends who have different jobs
4. Do an analysis of my skills and see which ones are transferable
5. Research various companies I would like to work for
6. Research various sectors
7. Find out if I need to take a class to acquire the skills to get to the next level
8. Start networking
9. Put together a resume
10. Find someone to mentor you
11. Start sending out your resume

Be prudent and very conservative when establishing milestones. Think simplicity and start small. It’s important to consistently complete your milestones on schedule. Once this becomes habitual your mind will be trained and will not allow you to miss another milestone. You will get used to achieving your goals and you can set more difficult ones.

Make sure you memorize and focus on each milestone associated with your goal. Focusing on the milestones is the key to successfully completing each goal. Focusing on the goal itself may seem overwhelming at times, so chew it off in small chunks.

The key to successful goal management is to focus on your milestones every single day!

Values are basic beliefs that are the fundamental assumptions upon which all subsequent actions are based. As a whole, values define the personality and character of an individual.

Values are the essence of an individual and provide guidelines by which to make consistent decisions. Think of Braveheart. He had the values of freedom, loyalty and courage. In reality, values are ideals that are indicative of one’s vision of how the world should work. To be successful one must adhere to personal and professional values. You do need to be able to look yourself in the mirror each morning. Integrity gives you strength and self esteem that nobody can take away from you.

Exercise:
Make a list of your values. Do you have any? If you don’t, acquire some. What do you really care about? What do you really hate? What would you be willing to sacrifice for? This is an interesting exercise. Don’t skimp on it. Who are the people who you really admire? Why do you admire them? What qualities do they have?

Professional values means not backstabbing people at work. Politics run rampant throughout all organizations, and many employees have a bad habit of getting their co–workers in trouble for the sake of improving their professional careers. This always has a boomerang effect. Remember the saying “you reap what you sow”?

Climbing the management ladder is exciting. With each new promotion comes a completely new set of challenges and opportunities. It’s not that difficult to walk all over people, and doing so sometimes comes with financial rewards.

But there are consequences to acting selfishly, not least of which is that you diminish your spiritual power. For myself, I feel it’s much more important to be respected by everyone around me than to selfishly compromise my values and destroy the reputation of others to satisfy my own desires.

Acquiring discipline means being that extraordinary person who will go out of their way to help people. It means being honest, sincere and a caring individual at all times. It also means doing what is right, regardless of any sort of personal sacrifices.

This is easier said than done.

It is the act of contemplating what is right, searching for the right answer and attempting with all your might to be the best person you can be despite fears and cowardice’s. Another thing to think of is long term consequences. Ask yourself what are the long term effects of doing this?

It is easy to be shortsighted when emotions are involved. In the heat of the moment one can say some pretty harsh words. However there are the long term effects of those words having been said.

If you are only focused on what is good for you, you might be missing the bigger picture.

Here are some thoughts on what are values to adhere to:

• Loyalty given/loyalty returned. Be loyal to your friends, colleagues, and family. By this I mean being dedicated, considerate, and willing to make sacrifices.
• No surprises. Never surprise your friends, colleagues, or associates. Difference of opinion should be worked out prior to any public meetings. It is your responsibility to make sure no one is surprisedsurprises lead to lack of trust, confusion, and arguments.
• Mutual Respect. Respect must be earned and cannot be assumed. Never embarrass anyone. Not only is it disrespectful but it ruins relationships and trust. Also never make a commitment unless you can fulfill your obligation. It’s very easy to lose respect for someone when they never fulfill their commitments. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
• Honesty and candor. It is surprisingly easy to be honest.

If you need to be asked the precise question to elicit the required information then you are not doing your job.

Honesty and truth have value and give you a strong foundation.
Liars have a hard time keeping all those lies straight.

By the way, honesty does not mean being brutal. Point out how someone can improve without demeaning them. Be objective and specific in correcting errors.

Share information and stay away from spinning information. Be objective and make sure what you say is supported by the facts.

Candor is not an excuse for rudeness. “You look awful in that dress!” is not helpful. Communication is the art of transmitting ideas in the most respectful way possible.

• Integrity. Your word is absolutely and unwaveringly reliable. What you see and hear is what you get. Walk the talk. It’s painfully obvious when someone conducts their lives in a negative way, but claims to do the exact opposite when in the company of others.

Better to admit to yourself that you need to change than to try to convince yourself and others that “things are better than they appear.” You will gain respect from people by being honest about your shortcomings. Keep your integrity intact.

Once you lose your integrity, you take yourself down a dark road that leads to unhappiness and addictions. Guard your integrity with your life.

• Professionalism. This encompasses all of the following; being objective, knowledgeable, competent, dependable, reliable, thorough, and well mannered.

What is professionalism? One view is of holding oneself to a standard of conduct that reflects the highest level of exchange. It talks to pride of work, and being controlled from within. It speaks of not just doing an adequate job but doing the best that you can.

When a drill sergeant barks out orders at a recruit they listen and they execute ASAP. Their voices are loud and whatever phrase they use hits the mark immediately – nothing is sugar-coated and oh by the way – there is no such thing as political correctness. For me, certain phrases may get my attention faster than others (i.e., you’re lazy, you’re a loser, you’re a failure, do you want to be a fat slob for the rest of your life and die early, etc. These phrases resonate with me – which phrases will hit your hot button? Which ones will wake you up, perhaps get you upset and cause you to finally do something to improve your personal and professional life once and for all?

Some challenges in your life will require a more positive and subtle approach. Positive phrases affirm what you want. They actually condition your mind. What do you want to become or what do you want to do. I used both positive and negative phrases to train my mind. A word of caution: don’t deceive yourself when using positive phrases. Negative and positive phrases are powerful ways to shift your thinking and begin moving you toward a more enviable you! Below are examples of some of the phrases that may work for you. Below are some phrases to help you train your mind to combat laziness:

Excuse: I’m feeling lazy todayI’ll exercise tomorrow.

Tell yourself repeatedly:
• Each day I exercise the healthier I become and the more energetic I am.
• I look pathetic – I wear clothes that hide my out of shape body – even in the dead of summer – how long do I want to keep doing this?
• I look like s…
• If I take today off I’ll want to take tomorrow off – this cycle will NEVER stop-JUST GO DO IT.
• I know it’s hard to exercise but just imagine what fun it will be to show off in a size 6 dress at my reunion (Visualize yourself in that dress, and how you’ll feel when you’re getting those looks of admiration).
• If I don’t exercise today I’ll look like millions of out of shape people (Visualize yourself and other overweight people in bathing suits).
• I don’t want to be ashamed of my body and scared of putting on a bathing suit do I, I want to be proud of my body.
• I’m going to die sooner than later because I am becoming obese.
• I’m a woos – do I want to be one for the rest of my life?
• If I take today off – then I’ll want to take 2 days off next week. I’ll get flabby – get off my lazy butt and do some sort of activity.
• You’re a lazy fat slob.
• PUSH YOURSELF – YOU LOSER!

Use these phrases or create your own and train your mind and you will be successful!

Throughout life you’re pressured, whether it was by your parents to get those school grades up, to party with your friends you didn’t necessarily want to hang around with, your boss constantly throwing unrealistic project deadlines in your face, etc. Many times when the pressure comes unexpectedly you scramble and become stressed to complete the project or assignment on time. Sometimes you can handle the pressure and other times you have a difficult time with it. Sometimes the stress is unbearable and you shutdown.

You know it’s going to come one day so why not prepare for it. Why not condition your mind for the inevitable (i.e., emergencies that WILL happen, unrealistic deadlines that pop up out of nowhere, etc.). It happens all the time you just don’t know when…Your only recourse is to train your mind to complete everything before its due date so you have some cushion (resources) left over for the unexpected. In other words constantly put pressure on yourself in order to be prepared for whatever is thrown your way.

The process I use to train the mind is very simple. I refer to it as the Man In the Mirror (MIM) technique. You establish phrases and you constantly repeat them until your mind actually believes in what you’re saying and it goes on auto-pilot. When repeating phrases you need to give it all you can. You need to put your heart and sole into it – as if you were an academy award winning actor standing in front of the mirror rehearsing your lines for a big part in a movie. You would rehearse your lines over and over again until you memorized them.

I did something similar to train my mind. I used the phrases below to instill a sense of urgency mentality into everything I was doing. I would tell myself repeatedly:

• Meeting my project’s due date is failure. Beating my project due date is an accomplishment.
• I must ALWAYS be ahead of schedule.
• There are no excuses for missing a due date (not even emergencies). Emergencies should be factored into my timeline.

…And most importantly make up your own phrases. These resonate with me but everyone is different. Which phrases will have an impact on your life?

When your mind is trained to live life with a sense of urgency you are conditioning it to constantly put pressure on yourself to do more with less. Your mind will NOT let upit will keep that pressure on you day and night to produce more than ever before. You will accomplish your goals ahead of schedule. Once your mind is trained it won’t matter what others try and throw on your plateyou’ll always be one step ahead of thembring it on. The pressures from the outside world will have no impact on you because you answer to yourself.